My brothers
by oreobabysunshine
Summary: Bella's past comes back to haunt her when her mother sends her a box full of her deceased brothers' belongings...and now she's falling apart. Can Edward help her put her life back together. BXE
1. Chapter 1

I woke up quickly. It was Sunday and Edward was gone hunting. I would see him tomorrow. After I showered and dressed I went down stairs and went outside to check the mail. On my doorstep was a Fed Ex box from mom. It was about mediumsized, I picked it up and it was sort of heavy. I then proceeded to the mail box and got out the letters and such and then I hurried back into the house. I opened the box slowly. What was inside were,

My pink Victoria secret pajamas, bless her.

A bunch of Video casset tapes

My pink jewlery box

My photo album

And a manilla folder that had pappers over flowing.

And a few walmart picture packages.

And a giant teddy bear.

I took the box to the living room and sat it down. I took one of the cassett tapes and put it in the VCR.

_On screen. _

_A young Bella of about 10 years old was singing in the church choir. _

_"We sing a song in the sanctucary! We sing a song to give you the Glory! We sing our song to give you the praise and we will praise you for the rest of our days"! They sang. Young Bella stepped out from the choir stand and went to the she began to sing:_

_Who taught the sun where to stand in the morning?  
and Who told the ocean you can only come this far?  
and Who showed the moon where to hide 'til evening?  
Whose words alone can catch a falling star?_

Well I know my Redeemer lives  
I know my Redeemer lives:  
All of creation testifies  
This life within me cry  
I know my Redeemer lives, yeah.

The very same God that spins things in orbit  
runs to the weary, the worn and the weak  
And the same gentle hands that hold me when I'm broken  
They conquered death to bring me victory

Now I know my Redeemer lives  
I know my Redeemer lives  
Let all creation testify  
Let this life within we cry  
I know my Redeemer, He lives  
To take away my shame  
And He lives forever, I'll proclaim

That the payment for my sin  
Was the precious life He gave  
But now He's alive and  
There's an empty grave.

And I know my Redeemer lives  
I know my Redeemer lives  
Let all creation testify  
Let this life within me cry  
I know my Redeemer,

I know my Redeemer  
I know my Redeemer lives  
I know my Redeemer lives  
I know that I know that I know that I know that I know my redeemer lives  
Because He lives I can face tomorrow  
I Know I know  
He lives He lives yeah, yeah I spoke with him this morning  
He lives He lives, the tomb is empty,  
He lives I gotta tell everybody 

_Everyone clapped._

The screen went blue. I turned it off. It was too hard. That was 7 years ago. I sobbed.. as I remebered. My little brother Aaron, he was four years old and my oldest brother Ryan was fourteen. They were both dead now.. I couldn't..stand it. My little brother would always stand up and clapp for me even though the song wasn't over. I sobbed even harder. I had never told any of the Cullen's about my brothers. I know Ryan would have loved Emmett...and Alice woudl have loved Aaron and he would have felt the same. Aaron would have been 11 and Ryan would have been 21..and now they could never be, it was all my fault. I sobbed even harder...It was all my fault that they were dead. Damn it mom! why did she have to send me this box. I thought I could forget but no. My past came back to kill me...how could I do this. I dug deeper into the box and pulled out the jewlery box...it was the same one Ryan gave me for my twelfth birthday.. Ir emeber, I promised Aaron a bird for his eleventh birthday. Now he would never get it. Damn it! I hate myself. I truly do. I cried all day looking through my items. By night fall I hadn't eaten at all. my stomach growled. I took the box upstairs and rested on my bed. I didn't even deserve to live. I shoved the box under my bed. I took my shoes off and threw it at the mirror on my wall.

"I hate you! I hate you!" I yelled at my reflection and I broke down into sobs again, "Im so sorry" I whispered again as I hugged the bear to my chest...I hate you so much, and that's exactly how Charlie found me that night, curled up in a ball with Aaron's teddy bear clutched to my chest.


	2. Chapter 2

I cried all night. What else could I do? Sleep? Impossible. I dressed slowly as if I were in a trance. Everytime I opened my mouth to say something to Charlie that morning I found myself holding back sobbs. I put sunglasses on to hide my eyes from the Cullens, they were red and puffy and they had circles under them. I hope that they wouldn't ask about, because of Alice they might already know.

I heard three soft raps on the door as I finished breakfast. I grabbed my bag and jacket and opened the door. There was the love of my life..my Edward.

"good morning love." He said happily when he saw my facial expression his smile faultered.

"Hi." I said. I faught back tears.

"What's wrong?" HE asked worriedly.

"N..nothing lets just go." I said simply. He brushed it off for now. He walked me out the car and opened the door for me as usual. There was an uneasy silence.

"So what...I mean..the sunglasses? why are you wearing sunglasses love?" He asked me.

"Don't you like them?" I asked. I had to play this card to keep him from asking anymore questions...I didn't want to talk about it now. I didn't want to have an emotional break down on the way to school. We made it there in a matter of minutes. In every classs I kept my head down and I squeezed Edwards hand every now and then. At lunch he was really concerned...I didn't eat.

"Bella, what's wrong Jasper is unsually depressed today?" Emmett asked.

"Sorry." I mumbled. " Don't wanna talk about it right now. Kay?" I asked.

"Sure."

"Bella please...if talking will make you feel better, then it will most certainl make me feel better..I'm concerned and everything but c'mon between some of those suicidal emo's over there...I'm on razors edge." jasper pleaded.

"I'll do my best." I said. "See you guys later." I said after I kissed Edward quickly on the lips. I got up dumped my tray leaving the Cullen's bewildered. Lauren noticed and she just had to push my buttons.

"What's wrong Swan, Cullen dump you?" Lauren asked as she followed me out to the hallway,

"Nope." I told her, as I walked away,

"I can't see why," She said.

"Well maybe because all that bleach in your hair is making you loose a lot of brain cells, its not like you had a lot to start with anyway." I retorted and I walked away, Soon I felt Edward's cold arms wrap around me.

"What's wrong? Your acting so depressed. Did we do something?" Edward asked worriedly.

"We'll talk about it tonight and no you guys haven't done anything wrong. It's me." I told him. He nodded, worry was still plain in his eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

To tell the truth I wasn't at all excited to have the Cullen's over tonight. I didn't want to tell anyone. Edward dropped me off and I ascended the stairs to my room and flopped on my bed letting all the days tears out. I looked outside...oh how wonderful it was beginning to snow. Aaron loved the snow..This only brought more tears. I looked at the shattered glass from the night before. They didn't deserve their death.

"Bella..." A whisper came. It was a voice I hadn't heard in so long. I turned around and I felt a wind rush past me...it was so comforting,

"Ryan?" I asked. I felt so silly of course it couldn't be him he was d..dead. I was talking to the wind.

"Bella boo bear!" Came another whisper.

"Aaron?" I asked. The voices were gone. I sobbed even harder. I began to sing Aaron's favoriate Christmas song softly. We would sing it every year at Christmas time. I stared out into the open window as I sang.

_Do you remember me  
I sat upon your knee  
I wrote to you  
With childhood fantasies_

Well, I'm all grown up now  
And still need help somehow  
I'm not a child  
But my heart still can dream

So here's my lifelong wish  
My grown up christmas list  
Not for myself  
But for a world in need

No more lives torn apart  
That wars would never start  
and wars would never start  
And time would heal all hearts  
And everyone would have a friend  
And right would always win  
And love would never end  
This is my grown up christmas list

As children we believed  
The grandest sight to see  
Was something lovely  
Wrapped beneath our tree

Well heaven only knows  
That packages and bows  
Can never heal  
A hurting human soul

No more lives torn apart  
That wars would never start  
And time would heal all hearts  
And everyone would have a friend  
And right would always win  
And love would never end  
This is my grown up christmas list

What is this illusion called the innocence of youth  
Maybe only in our blind belief can we ever find the truth  
(there'd be)

No more lives torn apart  
That wars would never start  
And time would heal all hearts  
And everyone would have a friend  
And right would always win  
And love would never end, oh  
This is my grown up christmas list

This is my grown up christmas list

"That was beautiful.." The whisper said again. I broke down into sobbs. I descended the stairs to the kitchen so I could make CHarlie's dinnner. I decided to make Taco's. I was constantly having to wipe away tears. Charlie's police car pulled into the drive came in and saw me wiping tears away then pulled me into a hug.

"What's wrong Bells? Did he break up with you?" He asked.

"No." I said. "Mom...sent me stuff with A...aron and R...ryan's stuff in it. Dad you know it was my fault." I said as I sobbed into his chest.

"IT wasn't your fault.

" It was all my fault, It was all my fault." I cried again. He rubbed my back in comforting circles.

"There was nothing you could have done."

"I could of ...I could have moved so they wouldn't of had to stand in front of me." I cried. "Dad it is souly my fault! No one's fault but mine!" He pulled away and looked me in the eye.

"Don't you ever think that! Never again!"

"But it was." I cried. "I don't deserve to even live." I told him. He hugged me tighter.

"We'll make it through this Kiddo like we did the last time. I promise."

"Dad, I invited the Cullen's over tonight. They'll be here in a few hours."

"Okay sweetheart." He told me he kissed my forehead.. "Are you sure you're alright to have company." No.

"Yeah." I told him. He nodded and I went up to the bathroom and tried to make myself look a little better..the circles were still there and my eyes were still puffy and red. I looked in the mirror and hung my head. Who was this new girl in the mirror? She seemed so evil so vile. But this was me. The killer of her two brothers. A murderer. Suddenly all my demands I had made before made since, why I wanted to prove to Edward that I wasn't a weak human...because I wanted to voer up the fact that I was two weak to save my brother. That I was two weak that day, I sobbed harder. A few minutes later a knock came on the door.

"Hello." Charlie said.

"Hello Charlie." Alice said.

"Bella's upstairs in her room." He told them. "Becareful what you say though,she's a little breakable...don't say anything about McDonalds." He said. I went to my room got my toiltetries and PJs took a quick shower...brushed my teeth after I put my Pajama's on and then I headed into my room. They were all spread out in my room.

"Hi." I said,

"So what's wrong Bella?" Emmett asked worry was plain in his eyes. I sat down on my bed next to Edward. he pulled me into his lap.

"Well...I haven't been completely honest about my past..." I started._  
_


	4. Chapter 4

"What are you talking about?" Jasper asked.

"Well...I had two brothers." I started.

"Really? Wait had?" Alice asked.

"Yes had." I could feel the tears forming. "I wasn't always clumsy. And I wasn't always an only child. I had an older brother named Ryan who would have been 21 two weeks from now and, a younger brother named Aaron who would have been 11 on Saturday. But you see their death was my fault."

"I don't understand." Rosalie said as she came to sit next to me. Lately Rosalie hadn't been so..evil she was nice now but I didn't understand why though.

"It was a Sunday and we were at church, I know right. Me? Church? any way we were leaving and a black car pulled up to the church..." I was reliving the memory I stared at nothing...I felt sorry for Jasper.

"A man stepped out and pulled a gun on us...he had aimed his gun at me and I didn't move..I could hear everyone yelling for me to run but I couldn't. Ryan told me to run..but it was like I didn't hear him. The next thing I knew The man had pulled the trigger and Ryan was dead at my feet.. because I didn't move because I didn't listen Ryan is now dead..."

"Bella love that's not your fault..you weren't the one who shot him...how could you even think that?" Edward told me. I was crying again.

"Aaron was behind me and before I could react. Aaron was in front of me holding on to my leg for protection...three shots were fired and Aaron was dead. I had been shot in both of my ankels. The man took a few more shots...church members ended up dead everywhere. Only my mother and Phil who had been just coming out of the church had been the only one's in my family that were spared of their lives. The man...thinking I was dead drove away. So you see remeber Edward when I told you my number wans't up in Phoniex boy was that a lie." I told him.

"So why..are you so depressed now?" Alice asked...not being able too make sense of it.

"Because of this." Is aid climing out of edward's lap and pulling the box from under neath the bed. I put its contents on the bed. "These damned videos, and photos and birthday presents that they gave me. Renee' sent that all up here. I don't know why...what made her think that I could handel it if she couldn't I don't know."

"Because your a strong woman...and you have us." Rosalie said.

"Would it bother you so much if we watched some of those videos?" Edward asked me carefully. I shook my head no.

"Are you hungry Bella...I could go get you some McDonalds." Emmett asked. I started sobbing.

"Aaron loved McDOnalds." I whispered/

"Emmett!" They all groaned.

"Sorry."

"No thanks Emmett.I just ate." I said. We popped the video in the VHS player that CHarlie had recently given me along with a new TV. This was the one I had watched the other day. I knew where this was leading this was the day it had happened and someone had caught everything on tape.

_On screen. _

_A young Bella of about 10 years old was singing in the church choir. _

_"We sing a song in the sanctucary! We sing a song to give you the Glory! We sing our song to give you the praise and we will praise you for the rest of our days"! They sang. Young Bella stepped out from the choir stand and went to the she began to sing:_

_Who taught the sun where to stand in the morning?  
and Who told the ocean you can only come this far?  
and Who showed the moon where to hide 'til evening?  
Whose words alone can catch a falling star?_

Well I know my Redeemer lives  
I know my Redeemer lives:  
All of creation testifies  
This life within me cry  
I know my Redeemer lives, yeah.

The very same God that spins things in orbit  
runs to the weary, the worn and the weak  
And the same gentle hands that hold me when I'm broken  
They conquered death to bring me victory

Now I know my Redeemer lives  
I know my Redeemer lives  
Let all creation testify  
Let this life within we cry  
I know my Redeemer, He lives  
To take away my shame  
And He lives forever, I'll proclaim

That the payment for my sin  
Was the precious life He gave  
But now He's alive and  
There's an empty grave.

And I know my Redeemer lives  
I know my Redeemer lives  
Let all creation testify  
Let this life within me cry  
I know my Redeemer,

I know my Redeemer  
I know my Redeemer lives  
I know my Redeemer lives  
I know that I know that I know that I know that I know my redeemer lives  
Because He lives I can face tomorrow  
I Know I know  
He lives He lives yeah, yeah I spoke with him this morning  
He lives He lives, the tomb is empty,  
He lives I gotta tell everybody 

_Everyone clapped._

Edward paused the movie.

"Y..you can sing?" He asked me.

"I guess. I stopped singing after they died.. I used to take ballet too..." I told him. He pressed play.

_The scene switched to outside where a gun shot was heard. Young Bella stood frozen with fear as a man leveled his gun at her. A young blond man jumped in front of her as the man fired and layed dead on the ground. A young little black haired boy clutched young Bella's leg. Minutes later they bother fell to the ground and the man jumped in the car and sped away. _

Edward stopped the movie. I was crying and I was so glad I had all these people to comfort me.

"I'm sorry..I should've checked to see th-" Edward started.

"We don't label them, mom always said that the movie that we needed to see most would always be the one we picked first blind folded."

"I don't get it." Emmett said. I rolled my eyes as I whiped some tears away. Edward held me tighter.

_On screen_

_Young Bella of about ten years old stood on stage at the school auditorium. It had a big banner over the stage that read school talent show. _

_Tell me babe, how many do I shed my tears?_

_Every Heart Every Heart is not a gentle yet_

_Shall I do? I can never say my loneliness_

_Every Heart doesn't know so what to say oh what to do_

_(I) was afraid of darkness cause I felt that I was left alone_

_So I prayed for help to (the) distant million stars_

_Round & Round the planets revolve round the sun_

_And we always seek after love and peace Forever more_

_Growing growing woe baby we can work it out_

_Look up at the sky Every Heart is shining all today_

_Show me now, What kind of smile do I come across_

_Every Heart Every Heart can take a step towards the dreams_

_All of us what to take a lasting happiness_

_Whenever you feel sad, I wanna hold you & give you a sound sleep_

_Someday Every Hearts gonna free and easy_

_We have peace of mind_

_Someday all the people find the way to love_

_Goes & Goes the time goes on we are not alone_

_We live on together and we will find some precious things_

_Sometime we will smile sometime we will cry somehow_

_Don't forget believing yourself - Tomorrow's never die_

_There is the warm heart places on my mind_

_In my earlist day's there and it's so sweet_

_There are many stars they have talk with me so kind_

_They say yes always time's a friend of mine so shine_

_Round & Round the planets revolve round the sun_

_And we always seek after love and peace Forever more_

_Growing growing woe baby we can work it out_

_Look up at the sky Every Heart is shining all today_

_Goes & Goes the time goes on we are not alone_

_We live on together and we will find some precious things_

_Sometime we will smile sometime we will cry somehow_

_Don't forget believing yourself - Tomorrow's never die_

_Bella sang. At the end everyone clapped. _

All the Cullen's turned to look at me with shock.

"Would you give us the pleasure of singing for us?" Jasper asked me.

Edward glared at him..

"No Edward its fine. What do you want me to sing?"

"How about...Before he cheats by Carrie Under wood." Alice suggested.

"No..what about I will Be by Leona Lewis?" Rosalie suggested.

"Sure why not?" I suggested.

"Wait no! I wanna suggest a song.. he he...what about Once upon a december?" Emmett suggested. We all looked at him with shocked faces.

"Uh absolutely not." I told him. He pouted. "I've got it..

_Do you remember me  
I sat upon your knee  
I wrote to you  
With childhood fantasies_

Well, I'm all grown up now  
And still need help somehow  
I'm not a child  
But my heart still can dream

So here's my lifelong wish  
My grown up christmas list  
Not for myself  
But for a world in need

No more lives torn apart  
That wars would never start  
and wars would never start  
And time would heal all hearts  
And everyone would have a friend  
And right would always win  
And love would never end  
This is my grown up christmas list

As children we believed  
The grandest sight to see  
Was something lovely  
Wrapped beneath our tree

Well heaven only knows  
That packages and bows  
Can never heal  
A hurting human soul

No more lives torn apart  
That wars would never start  
And time would heal all hearts  
And everyone would have a friend  
And right would always win  
And love would never end  
This is my grown up christmas list

What is this illusion called the innocence of youth  
Maybe only in our blind belief can we ever find the truth  
(there'd be)

No more lives torn apart  
That wars would never start  
And time would heal all hearts  
And everyone would have a friend  
And right would always win  
And love would never end, oh  
This is my grown up christmas list

This is my grown up christmas list"

I was suprised that I was able to hold back tears. It was getting easier now to remeber them...

"That was beautiful.." They all complemented. I blushed

"Hey kids! I think you should stay here for tonight. There is a snow storm out here!" Charlie called up the stairs. I looked at Edward.

" We wouldn't want to impose." Edward told me. I rolled my eyes and he chuckled.

"Well...alright." Edward said. Alice ran down the stairs and told Charlie about it. Emmett lept out the window.

"I've got the bags!" he said as he rushed out. I rolled my eyes stupid, stupid Emmett.

I spent the rest of the night showing the Cullen's the things that my mother had sent me..it felt good to get things off my shoulders

"Bella...." The voice whispered...uh-oh. Every Cullen went into defensive mode.

"Stop Aaron your going to scare them.." Another voice said.

"But I want my sister back.." The voice was on the edge of tears.

"Aaron?" I questioned quietly. How silly, I was talking to air.

"Bella!" The voice said excitedly. " I missed you so much! Grandma said she found away that you could come with us." I was sure that was Aaron.

"What do you mean come with you?" Jasper asked.

"Well she can become a ghost, or spirit or whatever..or die." Aaron said. Suddenly the image of my little brother was in front of me. I could feel his hand as he held mine. The Cullen's tensed even more if that was possible.

"I missed you soo much." Aaron said hugging me.

"Aaron..I can't I can't come with you." I said..as I hugged him back.

"Oh sure you can..Ryan! Tell Bella all about it."Aaron said as he situated himself on my lap. I could feel his weight.

"First of all who are these people.? Bella I thought we made this clear..no boys in your room!"

"What I've never even had a boyfriend before?!" I shrieked.

"Oh..yeah I forgot. I never did understand that."

"But I have one now." I said.

"Really?"

"Really..Ryan, Aaron this is Edward, my boyfriend, and his brothers and sisters...Rosalie, Jasper, Alice, and Emmett." I felt almost giddy except for the fact they wanted me to join them in death._  
_


End file.
